... Said No One Ever!
I do a lot of self reflection, some about my past, how far I've come, mistakes I've made, lessons I've learned, people I've met and some I wish I would have never met LOL; some about the present, how I make use of my time and with whom, and then some about my future, where will I (and my family) be 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 20 yrs from now, I think about practicing medicine and yes I even think about not practicing medicine. However, not in the sense that I see myself doing something else in life but more like what if my scores aren't good enough, or what if I can't impress the admissions committee during my interview, what if I never get the chance to be the person I have always envisioned.
So its not so surprising that there was a time when I lost a lot of sleep thinking about my past (mainly the mistakes) and thinking the future (my hopes and dreams and even my nightmares). Now I can say that I don't loose as much sleep as I once did, my daydreaming about rotations, practicing and even boards don't consume as much of my day as they once did. Because I realize more and more everyday that my past is in my past, I can't change it, I can't ask for a redo and traveling in time doesn't exist yet. And my future is unknown. For the most part I like to think that I have the power to write new chapters as I go and in a sense I do but God really has already determined where I will be 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 20 yrs from now and there are probably several paths predestined for me depending on my attitude and the decisions I make. So I am trying to worry less and live more and I definitely encourage the same to anyone that might be struggling with letting go of past grades, scores, friendship(any kind of -ship) and if you find yourselves to preoccupied with the future, just LET GO!