To be or Not to Be?

No, I am not ready to relinquish my dreams of medical school and practicing medicine. However, I am a non-traditional applicant, I am over the 20 something hump, and people ask (and make random unwarranted statements) me more often then I would like:

                         Why aren't you in school yet?

                  When will you start medical school?

How long do you plan to pursue this thing(medical school)?

And the list goes on. For the most part I am not bothered by the questions and comments because I either choose to answer their questions or I simply don't (Or my 3rd option provide a very witty and sarcastic reply). However, whether you're a non-traditional or traditional student, you may wonder when is it time to move on? Of course I have my opinion but I am interested in hearing what others think.

How many times should  person take the MCAT  or apply to medical school before enough is enough?

I met a very nice young physician at a Christmas party a few weeks ago, she is Chief Resident of Surgery and despite her well composed demeanor and current accolades she shared with me that her journey towards medicine was not without obstacles. Last we got together and I shared with her my med school application/interview tales and my MCAT stats and even my frustrations. She shared tons of great advice and she helped me set a few concrete goals for myself. As we concluded our causal meeting she said "Despite your discontent with this or with that, you have to develop tougher skin, because at the end of the day you want something that only the admissions office can provide."

And, while I was definitely inspired after our talk and with my day to day life, and accomplishments. I can't help but wonder, anticipate and be anxious about my future and becoming a physician. Like really what in the world would I do with myself if I didn't become a Doctor? Honestly, I have no clue because I can't see myself doing anything else. A physician that my friend knows, told her that if she wanted to get into medical school and become a physician, than she shouldn't waste time with anything other than PLAN A! Yet, I feel like it would be crazy of me to not have a plan B, C-Z and etc because that's just who I am. I would rather be slightly prepared for the worst but hoping for the best than not prepared for anything at all.  Of course 99% of my alternatives involve taking some type of additional detour but they all lead to medical school. But what would I do if Med School isn't even an option? Should I even contemplate that?

As a mother, I am financially and emotionally responsible for the well being of another individual. A part of me wonders how long I can put the security of my son's future in limbo, while I pursue my life long dream. But then again, I think of how my path is an example of perseverance for him, it's teaching him to never give up on his dreams, let alone himself, and I know that as a physician I will be able to provide him with the best education, environment or other opportunities that I didn't have growing up.

This process is definitely not for the faint at heart and by no means will this be a cat walk, even for those that soar through undergrad/MCAT. I just have to remain faithful and positive because either it's meant to be or its not.