Fall Reflections

So far this week has provided me with a major boost in moral. 

As a first year MD student at my school we must participate in clinical preceptorships, which is similar to shadowing in some cases and in others, we visit sites that provide healthcare and other services for underserved population and learn more about the work they do, services they provide, and people they help.  Well, yesterday my random assignment happen to be at a Family Medicine office that I have volunteered at for the past 2 years. It was so refreshing to be there and chat with my mentor and see patients.  

Initially, I didn't feel any different walking in as a medical student as I did during my previous trips there but as the evening hours rolled on I realized things were different. I got really excited when the physician would mention topics that I had recently learned in class and I felt confident about my ability to answer clinical questions.  Like, despite how I may feel that sometimes info is going in one ear and out the other, my studying and the endless hours I am putting are not in vain. I realized that the main purpose of the preceptorships is not give us more shadowing exposure because we all have hundreds and hundred of hours but for those days when we are bogged down with book work, lecture notes and feel so far removed from our goal of practicing medicine, it shows us, "That hey this is why you spend all of those hour reading, learning and preparing, so one day you can see patients and be the best physician for them as you possible can". And, I really needed that yesterday!  

Then, today is my son's birthday!!!! I still can't believe how much he has grown and matured into a spectacular young boy. His birthday reminds me of my journey and how far we have come. He's seen me graduate from college, moved to Macon for grad school with me, seen me graduate from that treacherous program and now he is seeing me pursue my dream of becoming a physician! Today is just a reminder that my dream is really bigger than me because I have so many other people relying on my determination, my imagination and my success.

School for me this last month has not been all that I had hoped. Honestly, my motivation has been a bit lack luster, I am present but sometimes my mind is completely absent. Then, I set expectations for myself that I probably wouldn't even expect Albert Einstein to accomplish and when I didn't meet those goals it was difficult for me reevaluate how realistic of those expectations were but easy for me criticize my own efforts. But, I am learning to take easier on myself because while expecting greatness is great, burn out is real. I've done a lot of things in my life that I can reflect on but I've never done medical school before. I've never done medical school before as mother before. I've never done medical school before in my hometown with all my family (pro&con). This a whole different ball game and I'm just a rookie. But, I am learning, growing and still finding my way through. One thing I know is that, I dream about this, wished for this, prayed about this, and now I am hear. While people make plenty of mistakes, God doesn't! 

Goals!

Setting Goals are sooo important in every aspect of life. They help get a clear picture of things I would like to accomplish.

November 14, 2010 I sat down and listed out all of major goal for 5 years. On that document I listed monthly and quarterly goals that included items such as: Learn Spanish, travel out of country, become more financial secures, reduce debt, take the MCAT and an endless number of additional goals. I also listed the exact date that I hoped to enter medical school.

And one day my I woke up and my calendar read Jan. 2015. In a panic I realized that there was so much that I hadn't accomplished and things I still wanted to work towards, and it was time to extended my "Goal Docs"  out for a few more years. I noticed that some of my goals had been met and other had been marked through twice, copied and pasted to a later date but one thing that had not occurred was the need to erase any of my goals. Though I did slightly rephrase goals and move dates, I never lost sight of where I wanted to go or the dreams that I had and wanted to accomplish.

As a first year Medical School student, I recently reviewed my goals from 2010-2015 and I looked at the many times I had to move dates, and edits where I had to readjust "My Plans" and relocate my goals. I had to readjust my plans to fit God's plans for my life because sometimes it is decided unbeknownst to ourselves that we need to take a few detours before we reach our final destination. Sometime we are frustrated by the traffic we are met with on these detours but every interaction and reaction has its purpose. And, while I have have items on my goals list x'd and relocated, I still made it to my end destination for this particular chapter of my life. Now its time to add my goals for the next 5-10 years and I look forward growing and learning more about myself and those I meet along the way!

Never give up on yourself, make adjustments, rephrase and rededicate aspects of your life and/or goals and move forward because a missed goals is not a misplaced Goal!

MEDICAL SCHOOL: Week 1

It's official, I am official!!! After a whirlwind pre-summer, I can say with great pride that I am officially a medical school student. I have been rejected many times, pre-screened, waitlisted, and finally accepted multiple times over! Now I can say with certainty that I am at an institution where I belong and feel I will thrive and have all of the support I need.

This Monday I celebrated my birthday by taking my first ever Medical School exam as an actual Medical student (last year I took a medical school exam with M1s but as a summer student). I was not originally excited about having a major exam on my birthday but what other way would I want to celebrate my life and have another year to accomplish goals and be with family/friends than by living out a life long dream!! Well lets get to this a synopsis of the first few weeks of school.

Our orientation was at the end of June and class began immediately after the July 4th Holiday. Orientation consisted of faculty and student introductions, class photos, debt management talks, school public safety sessions, learning communities introduction and Ethic dilemma session among a wide range of other things.

The first week of class was a bit surreal, even though it was only a 4 day class week due to the holiday it probably felt like one the longest weeks so far. At that point it still had not set in that I was actually in medical school and that I was in a position that I had envisioned for so long (not sure if it has even set in yet lol).

My school typically has class Mon-Fri first starting at 9am and the end of our day ranges from 3pm to 5pm but once gross lab starts we will definitely be there till 5pm or later. I am accostumed to the long days because I just transitioned from a full time job back to being a full time student, despite that I found myself searching for energy after lunch, during our 3pm session and even sadly sometimes midway through our 9am session. If you have ever heard medical school classes being referred to as like a fire hydrant... its true because the amount of information you are flooding with in a short amount of time can be mind blowing. Being a single parent makes my situation a bit different as well. I have tried to get my feel of things and work on my study schedule, find people that I can potentially study with and those that I can build relationships with, its a work in progress!

Prior to our test on this Monday we had over 25 different lecture sessions (13 actual class days)  ranging from biochemistry, histology, molecular cell, cell biology, fundamentals of medicine, etc and our test was 118 questions. I will go into more detail about the test and what I learned in another post!


Here are a few words that my classmates used to describe there first week of school........

Indescribable, Woaaaah, ugh, Introspective, fun, Crazy, Seriously, Interesting!


           

I am a proud member of the Class of 2020!!!

I'm a Medical School Student ;-D

The time has finally come..... I have so much to share but time is escaping me LOL. I have been in school 3 weeks now!

And at the top of next week I will celebrate a birthday and my first ever medical school exam as a medical school student. I took a brief study break to provide you all with a bit of encouragement.

Your day is coming, patience is hard to practice at times but trust in the plans that God has for you and understand that time is relative in the grand scheme of things, your time is coming and you will do well and be great!

I will try to do a post on my first week of medical school after my test next week!!

 LOL :-)

Just for you!!!!

Re-post from instagram. This message was meant for you!

Are you ready to Apply!!

Happy Spring Everyone!!

This time of year is marked by "Springing Forward" our clocks, crazy pollen (southern states at least), flowers blossoming, graduations and so many more wonderful things. Well it is also a reminder the AMCAS and AACOMAS application will open in a few weeks.

                                                  AMCAS                                        AACOMAS
Application Opens                    May 1, 2016                                 May 5, 2016
Submissions Begins                  June 1, 2016                                 June 15, 2016


Speaking from someone who has applied more than once and both early and late in the cycle, interviewed during more than one cycle and will official begin school this summer: when your advisors, fellow premeds and medical students tell you to apply early, listen and APPLY EARLY!!!

Ideally Early application = Early Secondaries = Early Interviews =  Early Acceptances

Hopefully everyone that plans to apply this year has already taken there MCAT or will take it now in April or Early May test dates. (By no means should you rush to test if you are not ready, test when you a comfortable with where you stand on content, practice test scores, and confidence)

Below is a timeline I have modified by including additional dates and important factors to consider. The original pre-med AMCAS application timeline.

Jan-June--- You are here right now ;-)

• Save as much as you can for primary applications, secondary applications, interview cost, seat deposit fees and so on. 
• If you are eligible Apply for FAP through AMCAS and Fee assistance through AACOMAS.
• Reflect on your interest, core values and desires in a medical programs (locations, specialty interest, extracurricular activities, research opportunities, additional funding available at the school, school/city demographics etc).
• Check out MSAR to learn more about schools and/or also go to the schools direct website. 
• Narrow your list of schools you would like to apply to based on your preferences and based on if you have or will all of the required pre-med prereq before school starts (for instance one school may required 2 semester of math but your school only required you take 1 semester of math). 
• ***Important***Once you have selected your schools pre-write your writing prompts so that you can submit your secondary as soon as you receive them. Check out this website for a list  or visit SDN, or contact people know that attend or have recently applied to the school. Set a goal to have the writing prompts completed no later than mid June, leaving a few weeks to make last minute changes before July 1 when secondary applications open.
• Also it is never to early to look for scholarships, check out the financial aid website of you prospective schools, google, scholarship websites and create a spreadsheet with listing deadlines and other important information.

April-June 

• Prepare for and take the MCAT if you have not already taken the test or need to retake. Take the MCAT in the spring if possible, but no later than early summer in order to have scores submitted to the schools early in the cycle.
• Request copies of your transcripts and check to ensure that there are no errors on them.
• Begin working on primary applications. AACOMAS opens in  early May. AMCAS application is available online in May for applicants to begin filling out, but cannot be submitted until early June.
• TMDSAS opens in early May.

July-September 

• Take/retake the MCAT if needed.
• Continue submitting secondaries that you did not get a chance to complete in earlier.
• Some will come within days of submitting the primary application, others will take a bit longer. Return these to the schools within one to two weeks of receiving.
• Interview at medical schools.
• Some schools notify applicants of acceptances October 15. Notifications continue until the class is full. 
• By April 30, applicants to AMCAS schools should only be holding a spot at one school. They may remain on waitlists for other schools. (Not sure if these rule also applies to D.O schools)

Spring-summer 

• Update schools you are waitlisted at about new activities and accomplishments.

Summer- Fall 

• Take a short lived breather once you're accepted before Medical School starts :-)

Check back for periodic updates as additional tips come to mind!

Persevere, You Must!

I just want to say never give up, never give in, never loose sight of your dreams, no matter the trials and tribulation you may be faced with you owe it to yourself to never quit. Persevere, YOU MUST PERSIST! 

** Yes this is a Gospel Song, Yes I love all music, Yes I am a fan of Gospel Music & Yes I definitely Love GOD!** 

Deadlines, Decisions, & FAITH

Just when you think you have a moment to relax then you're met with additional "surprises". This has been a very fruitful application season for me. I have had the opportunity to interview with several schools and I have even been accepted into a program. 

With most acceptances there are deadlines for committing to a particular school. I received my first acceptance mid-january and this week I have to decide if I will attend the school. While, I am overjoyed and excited  to be  one step closer to my dreams. I have a lot of things to consider before deciding if I want to relocate to a different state with my son and embark on this tremendous yet demanding voyage of medical school. 

In addition to having a deadline there's also a non-refundable seat deposit required that is around $2,000. This has been one of the biggest strains because I cannot easily come up with that kind of money even within a 30 day deadline. On top of my current acceptance and I was waitlisted at one school and I am still waiting to hear back from another school. All of the schools that I interviewed with have qualities and characteristics that meet my needs and expectations. Yet, I have been in the state of panic and unease for some time now because I would hate to make a rash decisions based on my eagerness to enroll in medical school and live out my dreams. My son on the other hand is very saddened at the possibility of having to leave all his family and start a new life in a new state.

As a single mother there are a lot of things I must consider. Negating the fact that I may not be in a financial position to submit the deposit. My son's happiness, emotional state and education are very important to me. Today marks a day of transition for our lives as I must make an important decision regarding our future. Whatever decision I come it must be one that I can live with tomorrow and beyond.

There will be times in life when you will reach a deadline, a fork in the road of sorts, you will have to make a decision on which path to take. Whether or not both paths are equally/less desirable, or if one path appears more attractive. At that time have faith, pray with a open heart and mind and trust in him!

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

** Disclaimer: Originally written Feb 24, 2016 however I forget to post it :-(

Choosen: Set Apart: Appointed

Months ago my pastor spoke on "Find God's Purpose for your Life" and he stated "Before you were born, I set you apart for special work."

For the longest I've struggled with the infamous question "Why do you want to be a Doctor". There are no medical professionals, physicians etc. in my immediate family (or even distant) that I could look up to and/or that I aspired to be like. I am not from an affluent family, background or area, that would have provided me with exposure to various esteemed professions. I never really considered any of my families medical histories to be overly traumatic and there was no profound moments that showed me, "Wow this doctor just really saved my/their life".

I simply have had this vision, for as far as my memory will go, that I wanted to be a doctor. I don't know where it came from but I can list and describe encounters, feeling, statements and what have you, that I have experienced in my life both directly and indirectly through family and friends, that has strengthened my interest and it has been like a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach, that I cannot get rid of. And, for the longest I struggled with fact that whenever I came across that question, (Why do you want to be a Doctor), my answer was never the same, or it didn't sound as nice or as moving as others I've come across.

I would become flustered because I couldn't decide if my defining "Why Medicine Moment" was:

• My grandmothers CHF (Congestive Heart Failure), End Stage CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease), or her COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) 
• OR was my my Aunts' leg amputation due to diabetes and a series of strokes, that has left her barely functional and wheel chair bound
• OR My mom's recent diagnose of MS (Multiple Sclerosis) ..... 
• And the list can go on and on

Which then lead me to question if this was really my purpose in life. And, if so then why in the heck was it so hard for me the answer this questions, "Why do you want to be a Doctor"??

I've had moments during shadowing or working in healthcare in some capacity or another and even with family, that have been completely amazing, from conversations with patients that remind me of my Granddad's witty mouth, to some interactions that were so meaningful that I got butterflies, because the patients saw me in the same light that I always envisioned myself, as someone's doctor, someone's educator, someone's confident, someone's leader, and someone's inspiration.

Then I think about my family and their medical tragedies and triumphs and the battles we are still fighting. While, I initially thought that their stories were "Average", these moment were actually very profound and were indeed what lead me down this path. And, I discovered that it's OK that I cannot pin point just one moment, because I have a series of defining moments. It's ok that my journey it not like yours, his, or her's!

At 4 years old instead saying I wanted to be a princess, unicorn or singer when I grew up, I said I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to help the world and fix everyone's boo boos.  And despite saying this some 20 odd years ago, I knew in my spirit then, what I have grown to realize through life experiences what I know now. God makes no mistakes, the passion and vision he places in your life, whether it was a vision given to you at 4 or 40, he makes no mistakes. We just have to find our path in life and this may not be easy but it is definitely a worthy pursuit!

 "Before you were born, I set you apart for special work."

SCORES ARE IN ?!?

Greetings everyone!

I am going to try and keep this post short and sweet. I took my test Sept 3 ,2015. My scores were released yesterday afternoon 10-6-15. Up until this point I had done a pretty good job of not worrying too much about the outcome of this test, I knew I tried my best, I knew I changed quite a few right answers to wrong choices (how did I know this, why of course I looked up the questions/answers after the test LOL, something that I do not suggest unless you want to increase your likelihood of suffering from a premature stroke/heart attack LOL) and as time passed I reconciled with the fact that if this is for me then HE will show me the way and if not then I know HE will lead me down another path, in his own time.

This is not to say that I was not nervous to see my scores because I was. After 2-3 friends shared their scores with me during the later part of yesterday, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't look at my score until January lol and I was perfectly fine with that. But as I sat at my computer scribbling and doodling on pieces of scratch paper at 11:59pm, when I was suppose to be completing secondary apps. I said enough is enough, I would not continue to allow a test to own my life, like the MCAT has. My heart was beating so hard and so fast, I would have thought it was going to jump out of my chest. 

But I did it, its over and I will never ever ever ever never take this test again, no matter what happens during this application cycle because I have applied multiple times, tested multiple times, did summer programs, test prep, masters programs, post bacc, relocated, I am swamped in debt but despite it all  I have tried my absolute best, sacrificed not only precious time from my life but of my family as well. And if medical school/ being a physician is not for me "I am going to stop trying to swim in the ocean during a hurricane because there's so much more to life than holding on to Dreams that may not even belong to me anymore".  But right now I am happy as can be so we will see how things go!

Life Post MCAT 2015

**SORRY GUYS I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS LAST MONTH AFTER MY 9-3-15 MCAT TEST**

I am finally free, well at least for an hour! I have a health fair to attend today, secondary applications to finalize and hopefully submit, non-profit stuff to do and a long list of other things written on a napkin LOL that I must do in order to reduce the chaos in my life. Now that I have taken the MCAT my stress level has gone from 10  to 6, which is a big plus for me and hopefully now I can focus on other things.

I tend to be a worry wort when it comes to test scores and my post test feelings sometimes are more intense than my pre-test feelings. I wonder if I changed too many questions, I want to review some of the material that was presented and this only adds fuel to an already blazing fire. Well as a part of my "Recovery" I am shying away from that type of behavior, I said that I would not look over material or anything while I wait for my scores. So I plan to do a post in Early-Mid October to share with you guys my MCAT Test experience, of course I will not be discussing any test specifics but just how I felt about each section etc. 

So back to more excited things such as AMCAS applications. I submitted my primary application later than I would have liked (Aug 4). My ideal submission date was between June 15- July 1 but I had so much going on at the time, I had just started my MCAT summer program, family issues, I needed to re-do my personal statement, and update my experiences among other things. I have applied before in the past so 90% of my app was already pre-filled and just needed to be proof read to spot any typos that I may have missed in the prior cycle. I was verified in literally 3 weeks. Which is less than the 6 weeks time frame that is listed on the website, I think this was mainly due to the fact that I am a previous applicant with no course additions, so they didn't need to recalculate my gpa and the time in which I submitted. As with all application systems there are "Peak submission dates" I am sure that tons of eager students submitted as soon as the application portal opened, before college classes start back and even towards the end of the cycle, which will lead to high traffic for the AMCAS verifiers, and extended verification lengths. 

Now on to secondary applications thanks to FAP I was able to apply to 15 schools, looking at the list that I have now, I should have done more research prior to starting my summer program to ensure that my application was as strategic as possible. Like why waste time applying to schools that have a very stringent GPA/MCAT cut off, despite not have my new test scores, I still did not want to apply to schools that would not even give me a secondary merely based off of my previous stats. Additionally as an African American Applicant, applying strategically is important, some schools make it known that they are interested in diversity. Of the over 85K medical school students enrolled in Allopathic medical schools less than 10% are AA students :-(  a very small slice of pie compared to the big picture and with HBCUs medical schools diversifying more and more each year we have to apply broad.

I will have to continue my Post MCAT 2015, Secondary application talk in another blog post at a later date. And to hear more about my Nonprofit Organization check out my new blog! Thanks for stopping by

A Different New Year!

Hey Guys!

It has been a while since my last post but I am happy to be back (for the moment). 

August is always an exciting part of the year for  most students or parents, August represents a 2nd New Year, somewhat a new beginning. At least in the sense, for me August is always the beginning of a New School Year, it represents the "Relative" end of "Summer" because it means back to the books, school and/or work.

So what's been going on with me during the last 2 months???

Well last month I became one year older. Yayy for me another birthday, another year of life, more opportunities to work towards my goals and enjoy my family.

I have been participating in a summer MCAT/Medical School enrichment program. My program is coming to a close and it will be officially over next week. I am registered to take the MCAT during the 1st week of September. I am in the midst of the AMCAS application process. I am considering applying to through AACOMAS as well but considering financial limitation that may not be possible (they ran out of Fee  Assistance Waivers in early July, which I think is ridiculous but that just my opinion). Other than that my summer program these last few months have been not very exciting, just long nights, studying hours on end, and class and home.  

After Labor Day I will definitely be more talkative LOL (after my test) and have tons more information to share with you all. For those of you starting school, going back to work or just simply ready to start a new chapter this month or next, I wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors. Work hard, study hard and be the best you can be because you may only get one chance to prove yourself!

Spring/Summer Update

As I discussed in my previous post I have a few things up my sleeve for the summer months. Outside of my prep course (class time, studying and all that jazz) I will be working on getting my Non-Profit off the ground. The major work will not take place until Aug after I take the MCAT and it is set to launch in the fall, after 2-3 years of working on it off and on.

I think that researching my target groups, drafting proposals etc for my Non-Profit is doable even while participating in a summer enrichment course. I don't know about any one else but after going to class (in person and/or online) for 4-8 hours a day then studying for hours on end until I fall asleep, is not how my brain operates. I have to study in chunks and give my brain a break for the  MCAT and even from school material. During those breaks, instead of surfing the web looking at useless items, on gossip sites, facebook/IG/Twitter and so on, I plan to use a small fraction of the time during my study break to give my brain a cool down and feed my soul. Outside of medicine, I am very passionate about my non-profits' mission of and helping other individuals from similar backgrounds and circumstances as myself achieve their goals.

I will periodically blog about various stages of starting a non-profit organization, learn more about my mission, goals and about me of course, take a peek!
My Non-Profit blog page!

Summer Plans

Part 1
Summer Break has officially started for me. My son's last day of school was May 22nd and I must say we ended the school year spectacularly well. He received tons of awards at his 1st grade Spring Honor's Ceremony, The President's Award for Educational Excellence for receiving A's in every subject area all year around just to name one. I was definitely happy of his accomplishments and I gladly gave myself a pat on the back as well LOL now off to 2nd grade :-) And fortunately for him mommy knows that learning is a 365 day job so his summer will include a summer reading/math camp along with fun stuff life Six Flags/White Waters etc

As for me I will not have a summer break this year. I took a leave of absence from my job in order to participate in a Summer Enrichment Course that includes MCAT Prep. My last day was this past Friday and my class starts bright and early June 1st (a whopping 2 day break). After working every day thus far in May, I can say that I am completely exhausted, but since I will be out of work for at least 12wks I couldn't pass on working as much as I could to make up for the income I will be missing. I doubt I will have a moment to breathe this summer, Transitioning back into an academic setting, dealing with declining health of close family members, cross country transitions, working on my non-profit and so much more. I have a lot on my plate for this summer but I am welcoming it all with open arms, facing my fears, confronting health challenges, and multitasking is a continuous process that is preparing me for rigors and time constraints of medical school and eventually the hectic schedule of a practicing physician.

So I'm sure that you have gathered by now that I have decided to take the new MCAT. It was not my first choice but I have to face it, despite interviewing in previous cycles, I was not granted and interview this year. The medical school application process is becoming increasingly more competitive and if I hope to get into medical school I need to have more competitive scores to back the other aspects of my application. I chose to partake in a MCAT prep course because of my previous struggles with the MCAT which is ironic because I actually saw my largest increase in PS/BS (on the flipside also the greatest decrease in my VS) when I did self study prep. But this is a new test, new material, and I need to insure that I am doing everything I can to knock this test out the park!

Muse

Langston Hughes said it best......

What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load. Or does it explode?

What happens when the only person that believes in you, is you? Does the dream disappear, does it fade? 

It either will grow bigger and bigger or slowly diminish until it becomes a memory you'd rather forget. Yesterday, I was told that "You are a mother your dreams come last." My goals, my ambitions no matter how noble they are, how promising, how whatever they may be, they should be deferred, and even forgotten. 

Its my choice how I choose to employ this "advice". Either I will run with it or toss it in the trash. I am a emotional being, a creative soul and days like this, when met with advice like this, and during times like these when everything seems to be going everywhere but up I write some of my best poems. For me giving up is not an option, and for the most part I try to find ways to turn negativity into something better, and sometimes drowning out the "Haters" especially when they are the people closet to you may be hard but like Nike says Just Do It! Choose your Muse

I'M THE ONE

If you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it,

to work day and night for it, to give up your time, your peace

and sleep for it… if all that you dream and scheme is about it,

…and life seems useless and worthless without it…

if you gladly sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it and lose all your terror

of the opposition for it…

if you simply go after that thing that you want with all your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith hope and confidence and stern pertinacity

…if neither cold, poverty, famine, nor gout, sickness nor pain, of body and brain, can keep you away from the thing that you want…

if dogged and grim you beseech and beset it, with the help of God, YOU WILL GET IT! 

– Les Brown

 I'm the one. I'M the one. I'M THE one. I'M THE ONE. YES I'M THE ONE!

See your dream, speak your dream, live your dream, embody your dream, manifest your dream, and Birth your dream into existence! Signing off, Until next time...  Dr. Shan A.

Happy Doctor's Day!

Happy Doctor's Day to all the (future) physicians. Whether you are practicing, in residency, medical school, pre-med or in the middle of the road, keep hope alive!

To be or Not to Be?

No, I am not ready to relinquish my dreams of medical school and practicing medicine. However, I am a non-traditional applicant, I am over the 20 something hump, and people ask (and make random unwarranted statements) me more often then I would like:

                         Why aren't you in school yet?

                  When will you start medical school?

How long do you plan to pursue this thing(medical school)?

And the list goes on. For the most part I am not bothered by the questions and comments because I either choose to answer their questions or I simply don't (Or my 3rd option provide a very witty and sarcastic reply). However, whether you're a non-traditional or traditional student, you may wonder when is it time to move on? Of course I have my opinion but I am interested in hearing what others think.

How many times should  person take the MCAT  or apply to medical school before enough is enough?

I met a very nice young physician at a Christmas party a few weeks ago, she is Chief Resident of Surgery and despite her well composed demeanor and current accolades she shared with me that her journey towards medicine was not without obstacles. Last we got together and I shared with her my med school application/interview tales and my MCAT stats and even my frustrations. She shared tons of great advice and she helped me set a few concrete goals for myself. As we concluded our causal meeting she said "Despite your discontent with this or with that, you have to develop tougher skin, because at the end of the day you want something that only the admissions office can provide."

And, while I was definitely inspired after our talk and with my day to day life, and accomplishments. I can't help but wonder, anticipate and be anxious about my future and becoming a physician. Like really what in the world would I do with myself if I didn't become a Doctor? Honestly, I have no clue because I can't see myself doing anything else. A physician that my friend knows, told her that if she wanted to get into medical school and become a physician, than she shouldn't waste time with anything other than PLAN A! Yet, I feel like it would be crazy of me to not have a plan B, C-Z and etc because that's just who I am. I would rather be slightly prepared for the worst but hoping for the best than not prepared for anything at all.  Of course 99% of my alternatives involve taking some type of additional detour but they all lead to medical school. But what would I do if Med School isn't even an option? Should I even contemplate that?

As a mother, I am financially and emotionally responsible for the well being of another individual. A part of me wonders how long I can put the security of my son's future in limbo, while I pursue my life long dream. But then again, I think of how my path is an example of perseverance for him, it's teaching him to never give up on his dreams, let alone himself, and I know that as a physician I will be able to provide him with the best education, environment or other opportunities that I didn't have growing up.

This process is definitely not for the faint at heart and by no means will this be a cat walk, even for those that soar through undergrad/MCAT. I just have to remain faithful and positive because either it's meant to be or its not.

The Rising Doctor

Initially when I decided that I wanted to create a blog, I planned to maintain my anonymity.  I try to be very forthcoming and vocal in my posts and I felt more comfortable and able to speak my mind as a virtual blogger. My thoughts were that I would most likely say “Ta-Daa” here I am, this is me, after I entered into medical school.  And I wanted to remain an “Avatar” for no other reason than, I didn’t want to be vulnerable and completely exposed.  

As I evolve, become exposed to new settings, people and ideas; I am learning that vulnerability is not as scary as it sounds. Whether it’s trying new foods or going to an event or outing alone (and not with the crew) and spontaneously meeting new people,  at some point I decided that  it’s OK to be me, love the skin I’m in and try things out that would normally make me feel a bit nervous.  I definitely don’t suggest diving into the deep end of the pool if you can’t swim because stepping outside of your comfort zone can be a very scary thing, trust me I know but maybe test the water in the shallow end, and as you grow more comfortable and learn to float, progress to deeper water.

So here it goes, not a full biography but a few details for my readers J (feel free to email me if you have any questions)

I am the Rising Doctor and my name is Shan. I am a native of Georgia and I am in my late 20s. I am the mother of a wonderfully smart and active 7 yr old son. I attended both undergrad (HBCU) and graduate school in Georgia. As stated in previous posts, I am a current (and past) medical school applicant, outside of my full-time job as a medical school applicant LOL, I work in Healthcare Administration in a private practice office setting, I enjoy creative writing, medical shadowing, volunteering, youth sports with my son, and networking and I am currently working towards establishing a Non-profit Foundation. 

Prejudice Healthcare System

While editing this post I made several changes and started over numerous times before finally deciding on the message I wanted to convey. Initially while reading you may think this is a random rant about our healthcare system but please read the post to its entirety because the conclusion is by far a contrast from the introduction.

The Healthcare system we have now is not one of equality, it is not one of what's fair is fair, or a healthcare system of "What would God do". At times it is a healthcare system of how will I get paid, who will pay the highest and those that can't afford to pay will receive the scraps. I decided to right this post because there have been statements, encounters and actions that I have witnessed, heard and experienced directly and second hand during my clinical exposure and during causal conversation, that would make a "Normal" (Average, traditional) person wonder why in the heck would I ever want to become a doctor.

We have a healthcare system, where some doctors will determine the type of care you receive (as in: if they order an EKG, CT Scan, Allergy test, etc) before they even meet you, merely based upon what type of health insurance you have or lack thereof. There are doctors that will develop preconceived notions about your health, your lifestyle, and your ability to comply with recommendations based solely on your race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc.

We have health insurance companies that decide 4 years of medical school and 3+ years of residency means nothing to them and if they want to reimburse you pennies on the dollar for your time and service then that is perfectly fine and they will not loose an ounce of sleep over it. There are insurance companies, that despite all of the training and experience a physician has, feel the need to override the medical recommendation made by physicians on prescriptions, exams, and referrals, with there own suggestions.

We have a system that allows someone with a nice comfy seat in Congress or in the Senate and even your local government (Governor etc) with more than likely no medical background and no true interest in patient advocacy, to make laws that affect our healthcare delivery system and to decide who has covered, who receives benefits and whose exempt from providing coverage.

In our healthcare system the Pharmaceutical industry is worth BILLIONS, they spends more money to wine and dine healthcare professionals and to market their drugs (millions, YES millions) than they do to actually produce the drugs. Yet, we have people in our county as well as abroad that can't afford their daily BP meds, insulin, antiviral drugs and so on.

We have a healthcare system that has contributed the structure of the medical admission process that exist today. Which puts more emphasis on...... I will rest me case here LOL because I could go on for day with this topic.

My professional and personal encounters have exposed me to good, bad and ugly aspects of our healthcare system. While, appalled at some of the things I have discovered, it has honestly only increased my passion, elevated my drive, and revamped my motivation to become a physician. Outside of the medical statistics that we can read about in journals and articles on policies, healthcare reform, Pharma and more, I have tons of personal stories of my own, that may be small in comparison to another person, or to the world at large but to me they are my motivation.

Every now and then, when I'm feeling a little discouraged about the MCAT, the application cycle or what have you, I think about my personal stories. Such as my granny, she is my buddy, we butt heads and joke around like pals. Despite not having and MD/DO behind my name, I am her Concierge Physician. I am constantly hounding her and my granddad about their health, I have to scold them at times, like their my children about their poor habits, their detrimental choices in meals, explain to them medical terms, dissect their lab results and that's not even half of it. I pray that they will be around to see me walk across the stage, finish residency and practice medicine. Not just to share these memories with me but because I want to be able to use my gift and expertise to help them. I see them struggle daily, they take literally dozens of pills, they suffer from everything imaginable, yet they still manage to help and encourage me. If one day, I could cure every illness they have, then this long journey would be more than worth it.

Despite its dysfunction, there is good in our healthcare system. And, despite our very competitive and at times unbalanced (and bunch of other crap) medical admissions process it produces tons of great medical providers. So as Applicants, Premeds, or Spectators, if you ever get discouraged, just hold on tight to the stories/experiences that led you down this rugged road, because when it gets dark they will definitely light the way for you! And remember no matter how hard life becomes your conclusion may be by far a contrast from your introduction.

*The statements in my post do not represent every physician, every insurance company, every politician, every pharmaceutical company, nor do they represent every medical school.*