Just for you!!!!

Re-post from instagram. This message was meant for you!

SCORES ARE IN ?!?

Greetings everyone!

I am going to try and keep this post short and sweet. I took my test Sept 3 ,2015. My scores were released yesterday afternoon 10-6-15. Up until this point I had done a pretty good job of not worrying too much about the outcome of this test, I knew I tried my best, I knew I changed quite a few right answers to wrong choices (how did I know this, why of course I looked up the questions/answers after the test LOL, something that I do not suggest unless you want to increase your likelihood of suffering from a premature stroke/heart attack LOL) and as time passed I reconciled with the fact that if this is for me then HE will show me the way and if not then I know HE will lead me down another path, in his own time.

This is not to say that I was not nervous to see my scores because I was. After 2-3 friends shared their scores with me during the later part of yesterday, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't look at my score until January lol and I was perfectly fine with that. But as I sat at my computer scribbling and doodling on pieces of scratch paper at 11:59pm, when I was suppose to be completing secondary apps. I said enough is enough, I would not continue to allow a test to own my life, like the MCAT has. My heart was beating so hard and so fast, I would have thought it was going to jump out of my chest. 

But I did it, its over and I will never ever ever ever never take this test again, no matter what happens during this application cycle because I have applied multiple times, tested multiple times, did summer programs, test prep, masters programs, post bacc, relocated, I am swamped in debt but despite it all  I have tried my absolute best, sacrificed not only precious time from my life but of my family as well. And if medical school/ being a physician is not for me "I am going to stop trying to swim in the ocean during a hurricane because there's so much more to life than holding on to Dreams that may not even belong to me anymore".  But right now I am happy as can be so we will see how things go!

Life Post MCAT 2015

**SORRY GUYS I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS LAST MONTH AFTER MY 9-3-15 MCAT TEST**

I am finally free, well at least for an hour! I have a health fair to attend today, secondary applications to finalize and hopefully submit, non-profit stuff to do and a long list of other things written on a napkin LOL that I must do in order to reduce the chaos in my life. Now that I have taken the MCAT my stress level has gone from 10  to 6, which is a big plus for me and hopefully now I can focus on other things.

I tend to be a worry wort when it comes to test scores and my post test feelings sometimes are more intense than my pre-test feelings. I wonder if I changed too many questions, I want to review some of the material that was presented and this only adds fuel to an already blazing fire. Well as a part of my "Recovery" I am shying away from that type of behavior, I said that I would not look over material or anything while I wait for my scores. So I plan to do a post in Early-Mid October to share with you guys my MCAT Test experience, of course I will not be discussing any test specifics but just how I felt about each section etc. 

So back to more excited things such as AMCAS applications. I submitted my primary application later than I would have liked (Aug 4). My ideal submission date was between June 15- July 1 but I had so much going on at the time, I had just started my MCAT summer program, family issues, I needed to re-do my personal statement, and update my experiences among other things. I have applied before in the past so 90% of my app was already pre-filled and just needed to be proof read to spot any typos that I may have missed in the prior cycle. I was verified in literally 3 weeks. Which is less than the 6 weeks time frame that is listed on the website, I think this was mainly due to the fact that I am a previous applicant with no course additions, so they didn't need to recalculate my gpa and the time in which I submitted. As with all application systems there are "Peak submission dates" I am sure that tons of eager students submitted as soon as the application portal opened, before college classes start back and even towards the end of the cycle, which will lead to high traffic for the AMCAS verifiers, and extended verification lengths. 

Now on to secondary applications thanks to FAP I was able to apply to 15 schools, looking at the list that I have now, I should have done more research prior to starting my summer program to ensure that my application was as strategic as possible. Like why waste time applying to schools that have a very stringent GPA/MCAT cut off, despite not have my new test scores, I still did not want to apply to schools that would not even give me a secondary merely based off of my previous stats. Additionally as an African American Applicant, applying strategically is important, some schools make it known that they are interested in diversity. Of the over 85K medical school students enrolled in Allopathic medical schools less than 10% are AA students :-(  a very small slice of pie compared to the big picture and with HBCUs medical schools diversifying more and more each year we have to apply broad.

I will have to continue my Post MCAT 2015, Secondary application talk in another blog post at a later date. And to hear more about my Nonprofit Organization check out my new blog! Thanks for stopping by

Summer Plans

Part 1
Summer Break has officially started for me. My son's last day of school was May 22nd and I must say we ended the school year spectacularly well. He received tons of awards at his 1st grade Spring Honor's Ceremony, The President's Award for Educational Excellence for receiving A's in every subject area all year around just to name one. I was definitely happy of his accomplishments and I gladly gave myself a pat on the back as well LOL now off to 2nd grade :-) And fortunately for him mommy knows that learning is a 365 day job so his summer will include a summer reading/math camp along with fun stuff life Six Flags/White Waters etc

As for me I will not have a summer break this year. I took a leave of absence from my job in order to participate in a Summer Enrichment Course that includes MCAT Prep. My last day was this past Friday and my class starts bright and early June 1st (a whopping 2 day break). After working every day thus far in May, I can say that I am completely exhausted, but since I will be out of work for at least 12wks I couldn't pass on working as much as I could to make up for the income I will be missing. I doubt I will have a moment to breathe this summer, Transitioning back into an academic setting, dealing with declining health of close family members, cross country transitions, working on my non-profit and so much more. I have a lot on my plate for this summer but I am welcoming it all with open arms, facing my fears, confronting health challenges, and multitasking is a continuous process that is preparing me for rigors and time constraints of medical school and eventually the hectic schedule of a practicing physician.

So I'm sure that you have gathered by now that I have decided to take the new MCAT. It was not my first choice but I have to face it, despite interviewing in previous cycles, I was not granted and interview this year. The medical school application process is becoming increasingly more competitive and if I hope to get into medical school I need to have more competitive scores to back the other aspects of my application. I chose to partake in a MCAT prep course because of my previous struggles with the MCAT which is ironic because I actually saw my largest increase in PS/BS (on the flipside also the greatest decrease in my VS) when I did self study prep. But this is a new test, new material, and I need to insure that I am doing everything I can to knock this test out the park!

Happy Doctor's Day!

Happy Doctor's Day to all the (future) physicians. Whether you are practicing, in residency, medical school, pre-med or in the middle of the road, keep hope alive!

Flying February

Wow, I feel like time is just flying by. So here's is a mini update:

Last month (1/31/15) I attended/volunteered at the Atlanta Medical Association Heritage Fund Ball. I was slightly under the weather but I definitely enjoyed the event. There were over 500 people there, 95% of them were medical professionals in various stages of training. I felt very nostalgic in my Great Gatsby themed attire, I did a bit of networking (not as much as I would have liked) and I felt very motivated by the atmosphere of people.

I shadowed a few times last month but due to my work schedule I have not been able to be as active in volunteerism and shadowing as I would have hoped. So, in order to remain "medically fresh" I try to do educational tasks here and there while I'm at work. For instance, every time I hear a medical term that I am not familiar with I read over literature on the disease, condition, Rx, etc and give myself a brief pop quiz at the end of the week.

And of course my son keeps me very busy. Last month his school hosted an award ceremony to acknowledge the students for their fall semester achievements. I was very excited because my son was asked to give the "Welcome" for the 1st grade students honors program and I was even more excited for him because he received Principal's List, a Super Star Reader Award, and Perfect Attendance. Spring semester has been going great, we just have to adjust a few things because my work schedule keeps me out later than normal. He also has been keeping me busy because he plays basketball at our local YMCA and they have games every Saturday. You can imagine that watching 6 & 7 yr olds' play can be very entertaining and nerve racking at the same time lol.

Lastly, I plan to attend a pre-med conference at the end of this month (2/28). Its always exhilarating to be around other medical professional hopefuls! As far as this application process goes, there really hasn't been much movement for me. All of my secondaries have been submitted and of course I have received my share of pre-interview rejections (And of course I am an emotional creature so I was a bit devastated but life goes on) but no interview invites as of yet, I am keeping in mind that my interview invites last year were pretty late in the season as well. Even still I don't know how to feel or what to think about it. I am going to remain patient and stay motivated that everything will work out.

To be or Not to Be?

No, I am not ready to relinquish my dreams of medical school and practicing medicine. However, I am a non-traditional applicant, I am over the 20 something hump, and people ask (and make random unwarranted statements) me more often then I would like:

                         Why aren't you in school yet?

                  When will you start medical school?

How long do you plan to pursue this thing(medical school)?

And the list goes on. For the most part I am not bothered by the questions and comments because I either choose to answer their questions or I simply don't (Or my 3rd option provide a very witty and sarcastic reply). However, whether you're a non-traditional or traditional student, you may wonder when is it time to move on? Of course I have my opinion but I am interested in hearing what others think.

How many times should  person take the MCAT  or apply to medical school before enough is enough?

I met a very nice young physician at a Christmas party a few weeks ago, she is Chief Resident of Surgery and despite her well composed demeanor and current accolades she shared with me that her journey towards medicine was not without obstacles. Last we got together and I shared with her my med school application/interview tales and my MCAT stats and even my frustrations. She shared tons of great advice and she helped me set a few concrete goals for myself. As we concluded our causal meeting she said "Despite your discontent with this or with that, you have to develop tougher skin, because at the end of the day you want something that only the admissions office can provide."

And, while I was definitely inspired after our talk and with my day to day life, and accomplishments. I can't help but wonder, anticipate and be anxious about my future and becoming a physician. Like really what in the world would I do with myself if I didn't become a Doctor? Honestly, I have no clue because I can't see myself doing anything else. A physician that my friend knows, told her that if she wanted to get into medical school and become a physician, than she shouldn't waste time with anything other than PLAN A! Yet, I feel like it would be crazy of me to not have a plan B, C-Z and etc because that's just who I am. I would rather be slightly prepared for the worst but hoping for the best than not prepared for anything at all.  Of course 99% of my alternatives involve taking some type of additional detour but they all lead to medical school. But what would I do if Med School isn't even an option? Should I even contemplate that?

As a mother, I am financially and emotionally responsible for the well being of another individual. A part of me wonders how long I can put the security of my son's future in limbo, while I pursue my life long dream. But then again, I think of how my path is an example of perseverance for him, it's teaching him to never give up on his dreams, let alone himself, and I know that as a physician I will be able to provide him with the best education, environment or other opportunities that I didn't have growing up.

This process is definitely not for the faint at heart and by no means will this be a cat walk, even for those that soar through undergrad/MCAT. I just have to remain faithful and positive because either it's meant to be or its not.

The Rising Doctor

Initially when I decided that I wanted to create a blog, I planned to maintain my anonymity.  I try to be very forthcoming and vocal in my posts and I felt more comfortable and able to speak my mind as a virtual blogger. My thoughts were that I would most likely say “Ta-Daa” here I am, this is me, after I entered into medical school.  And I wanted to remain an “Avatar” for no other reason than, I didn’t want to be vulnerable and completely exposed.  

As I evolve, become exposed to new settings, people and ideas; I am learning that vulnerability is not as scary as it sounds. Whether it’s trying new foods or going to an event or outing alone (and not with the crew) and spontaneously meeting new people,  at some point I decided that  it’s OK to be me, love the skin I’m in and try things out that would normally make me feel a bit nervous.  I definitely don’t suggest diving into the deep end of the pool if you can’t swim because stepping outside of your comfort zone can be a very scary thing, trust me I know but maybe test the water in the shallow end, and as you grow more comfortable and learn to float, progress to deeper water.

So here it goes, not a full biography but a few details for my readers J (feel free to email me if you have any questions)

I am the Rising Doctor and my name is Shan. I am a native of Georgia and I am in my late 20s. I am the mother of a wonderfully smart and active 7 yr old son. I attended both undergrad (HBCU) and graduate school in Georgia. As stated in previous posts, I am a current (and past) medical school applicant, outside of my full-time job as a medical school applicant LOL, I work in Healthcare Administration in a private practice office setting, I enjoy creative writing, medical shadowing, volunteering, youth sports with my son, and networking and I am currently working towards establishing a Non-profit Foundation. 

Prejudice Healthcare System

While editing this post I made several changes and started over numerous times before finally deciding on the message I wanted to convey. Initially while reading you may think this is a random rant about our healthcare system but please read the post to its entirety because the conclusion is by far a contrast from the introduction.

The Healthcare system we have now is not one of equality, it is not one of what's fair is fair, or a healthcare system of "What would God do". At times it is a healthcare system of how will I get paid, who will pay the highest and those that can't afford to pay will receive the scraps. I decided to right this post because there have been statements, encounters and actions that I have witnessed, heard and experienced directly and second hand during my clinical exposure and during causal conversation, that would make a "Normal" (Average, traditional) person wonder why in the heck would I ever want to become a doctor.

We have a healthcare system, where some doctors will determine the type of care you receive (as in: if they order an EKG, CT Scan, Allergy test, etc) before they even meet you, merely based upon what type of health insurance you have or lack thereof. There are doctors that will develop preconceived notions about your health, your lifestyle, and your ability to comply with recommendations based solely on your race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc.

We have health insurance companies that decide 4 years of medical school and 3+ years of residency means nothing to them and if they want to reimburse you pennies on the dollar for your time and service then that is perfectly fine and they will not loose an ounce of sleep over it. There are insurance companies, that despite all of the training and experience a physician has, feel the need to override the medical recommendation made by physicians on prescriptions, exams, and referrals, with there own suggestions.

We have a system that allows someone with a nice comfy seat in Congress or in the Senate and even your local government (Governor etc) with more than likely no medical background and no true interest in patient advocacy, to make laws that affect our healthcare delivery system and to decide who has covered, who receives benefits and whose exempt from providing coverage.

In our healthcare system the Pharmaceutical industry is worth BILLIONS, they spends more money to wine and dine healthcare professionals and to market their drugs (millions, YES millions) than they do to actually produce the drugs. Yet, we have people in our county as well as abroad that can't afford their daily BP meds, insulin, antiviral drugs and so on.

We have a healthcare system that has contributed the structure of the medical admission process that exist today. Which puts more emphasis on...... I will rest me case here LOL because I could go on for day with this topic.

My professional and personal encounters have exposed me to good, bad and ugly aspects of our healthcare system. While, appalled at some of the things I have discovered, it has honestly only increased my passion, elevated my drive, and revamped my motivation to become a physician. Outside of the medical statistics that we can read about in journals and articles on policies, healthcare reform, Pharma and more, I have tons of personal stories of my own, that may be small in comparison to another person, or to the world at large but to me they are my motivation.

Every now and then, when I'm feeling a little discouraged about the MCAT, the application cycle or what have you, I think about my personal stories. Such as my granny, she is my buddy, we butt heads and joke around like pals. Despite not having and MD/DO behind my name, I am her Concierge Physician. I am constantly hounding her and my granddad about their health, I have to scold them at times, like their my children about their poor habits, their detrimental choices in meals, explain to them medical terms, dissect their lab results and that's not even half of it. I pray that they will be around to see me walk across the stage, finish residency and practice medicine. Not just to share these memories with me but because I want to be able to use my gift and expertise to help them. I see them struggle daily, they take literally dozens of pills, they suffer from everything imaginable, yet they still manage to help and encourage me. If one day, I could cure every illness they have, then this long journey would be more than worth it.

Despite its dysfunction, there is good in our healthcare system. And, despite our very competitive and at times unbalanced (and bunch of other crap) medical admissions process it produces tons of great medical providers. So as Applicants, Premeds, or Spectators, if you ever get discouraged, just hold on tight to the stories/experiences that led you down this rugged road, because when it gets dark they will definitely light the way for you! And remember no matter how hard life becomes your conclusion may be by far a contrast from your introduction.

*The statements in my post do not represent every physician, every insurance company, every politician, every pharmaceutical company, nor do they represent every medical school.*

Happy 2015!

Happy New Year!

Technical difficulties prevented me from posting one last 2014 blog entry, nonetheless I am thankful for a new day and every last 365 days of 2014. I met tons of great people, traveled more than I have ever traveled before, acquired new skills, I started this blog, I interviewed with Medical Schools, I smiled, I cried, I laughed,  I rejoiced and most of all I never lost sight of the things that are most important in my life!

I am not much of a New Year resolution type of person because I set goals for myself periodically throughout the year already. So as apart of my normal routine, I am working on a budget so that I can become more financially stable and save more. A few weeks ago I open a fortune cookie, it contained two fortunes, the quote of interest to me stated that I would move into a new home within the year. I am not a superstitious person because of my faith in God, but this quote mirrored a goal that I have had for quite sometime and due to my future schooling somewhat in limbo right now (not knowing if I remain in state or have to relocate) I had halted my interest in finding a nice home in a great school district for my family but I think now is a great time to prepare myself by clearing out some of my outstanding debt and to work towards building a secure savings nest.

I have taken on  more responsibilities at my new job, which has left little room for shadowing and volunteering. So I plan to look for family oriented volunteer projects to participate in, this will allow me to still volunteer and also introduce my child to a healthy activity as well!

As for medical school, the secondary application process and so forth. I have submitted all but one of my secondaries and I plan to mail it out today. If I am financially able I will submit a few more applications next month. No interview invites yet, I am remaining patience because last year around this time I was in the same position. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Once you've submitted your application, the process is out of your control, you can't changed the grades they view, the scores they see, the personal statement they read, with that being said I just have to trust that everything will work out as it should. To keep my mind at peace and continue to be productive, I have tons of things to work on including getting my non-profit off the ground, this has been a very tedious and time consuming process but as with everything it requires patience.

Thank you for reading my blog, commenting, and so on, there's more to come in 2015!

Unknown

Born Without Ears
By UNKNOWN AUTHOR

"Can I see my baby?" the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms, and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred.

When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks. He blurted out the tragedy."A boy, a big boy...called me a freak." He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. "You might mingle with other young people," his mother reproved him, but felt a tenderness in her heart.

The boy's father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done? "I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured," the doctor decided. Whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man.

Two years went by. Then, "You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But it's a secret," said the father. The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later, he married and entered the diplomatic service. "But I must know!" he urged his father. "Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him."

"I do not believe you could," said the father, "but the agreement was that you are not to know...not yet."

The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come... one of the darkest days that ever pass through a son. He stood with his father over his mother's casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal... that the mother had no outer ears. "Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently, "and nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they?"

Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what can be seen, but what cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what is done but not known.

I was moved deeply by this story. I don't know if it was the mother in me or the sense of urgency I get to help those in need. I have so much empathy for the underdog, for those that are not as able as others (I choose to reframe from labels such as disabled or handicapped) and for those individuals that are wonderfully unique. I am such an emotional person at times, and mid way through this story I was shouting to myself "What kind of parents would allow their child to suffer in such a way, and it was a no brainer that one of them or both should sacrifice their ears for this poor boy" and then I reached the end and my heart smiled.

I want to be kind when no one is watching, touch as many lives as I can, work hard even when the odds are against, be my childs' hero, and make my grandmother proud. And it doesn't matter if no one else knows who I am, I want my legacy to live through all the lives I reach.

Connect 4

Connect for a Purpose

If you have never heard someone utter the words, "Sometimes it's not about what you know but Who you know", trust me you will understand the meaning one day. I decided to write this post because lately I find that much of my time outside of home/work life is not only spent volunteering, shadowing and meeting new people but also trying to maintain the connections that I have made over the years. Whether it's an email, text, phone call or card in the mail, once you meet someone that you have made a significant connection with, hope to connect with more, admire or whatever the case may be, you have to work continually to keep that connection fresh. It is a work in progress because I have so many other things that I am doing in life and that I have going on.

I always try to connect for a purpose because I try to find meaning in every relationship that I form.  I don't consider every doctor I shadow or health professional I meet to be my "Mentor" and every person I meet will not necessarily become my friend. But when I meet physicians and they eagerly are interested in seeing me grow, accomplish my dreams, provide professional insight and grooming, then those are the individuals that I make sure that I keep in contact with and the same goes for friends, I like to surround myself with like minded people. Not in a sense that all my friends want to be doctors and share all of my same interest but people that are sincerely working towards accomplishing goals they have set for themselves and are interested sharing ideas and life experiences and helping others as they help themselves reach their dreams.

On the Connect 4 agenda for this upcoming month: I plan to attend my local chapter of the National Medical Association's Annual Christmas Party. I plan to connect with local medical students, medical professionals and admissions staff!

Fear PART II

I briefly touched on the topic of Fear in a previous post so I will limit the current post to my academic and professional pursuits.

I literally had such a hard time writing this post. I went back and forth trying to figure out how to convey my thoughts and while this doesn't sum up everything it is a good start.

A few missteps in life and I became more and more detoured from my intended game plan, mind you a plan that I crafted as a 10yr old with dreams of being a doctor not know anything about life, living, growing and now my confidence was shaken and diminished.  I allowed fear to impact my performance in college, work, and professional settings. In high school I felt so powerful, so smart, so "gifted", so brilliant. Now I was a small fish in a big pond and I was drowning. When people would inquire about my college experience. The first thing I would say was "My high school didn't adequately prepare me for the larger, more diverse and robust educational arena." While this was true to an extent, what was more true was at that time I lacked the confidence, the attitude, and the will to say, "Hey this confidence that I walked in the door with is not misguided or false, I just need to dig a little deeper and pull that "Extra Something" that I know is within me and try harder, study longer and regain my power, my smarts, my gifts and the brilliance that is rightfully mine.  

I would overcome one fear and be confronted by the next fear. I didn't think I would graduate from college with the class I entered with. I had a child, worked too much and studied too little but guess what I did graduate. NEXT, Ok so I graduated so what but I bet I won't be able to finish my pre-med prereqs, they said ORGO and Physics are no joke, they said don't take Orgo in the summer, they said don't take Professor X. Just my luck :-/ I had no choice but take Orgo 1 during the summer with of course Professor X but guess what I passed both courses, with "A/A+" at that. NEXT... see the list goes on and on. Nothing I did was good enough, there was always the anticipation of something more challenging, an obstacle that I couldn't possibly overcome. But once I stop anticipating everything that could go wrong and tried to focus on everything that could go right, I definitely noticed a change in my attitude and my outlook on my potential for success improved as well. 

Failure, defeat, collapse, losing, whatever you want to call it, I have experienced it all, been there done that, tweeted it, wrote a poem about, the whole nine. But that doesn't mean that I am immune to feeling disappointed or sad. But what it does mean is that when I fall, I have learned to cushion my backside in advance. I have trained my reflexes to react faster. I have learned to take notes so the next time I fall, trust me it wont be in the same spot, on the same day or time.  Despite what many may think, falling is inevitable, its just a matter of how you fall, when you fall, and/or how far you fall. Because some falls are so minor you barely notice them while others are so significant they may leave a bruise. So I choose to place my energy else where, now the only thing I think about is challenging myself, accomplishing my goals, proving myself right (not wrong), and being a role model for my child. I cant give up and I have definitely wasted too much time giving in to fear, to waste another second. Time is valuable, so lets make the best of it because before we know it, times up. 

P.S This is such an amazing clip D.Ward has on her page, It literally gave me so much life! If you have not already viewed this video I highly recommend checking it out!

Fall Update & Halloween DIY

I have not had the opportunity to add any news blogs lately because I have been computerless (Yikes I know right) but now that has all changed!

So basically heres a kind of not so brief update: I have been working diligently to complete my business plan, Articles of Incorporation, and other supporting documents for Non-profit and I hope to submit my AOI to my secretary of states office today (I am super excited). I am still shadowing a local OB/GYN and attending OB/GYN grand rounds. As far working goes, my fellowship officially ended Sept 30 but technically ended 2nd week of Oct because I participated in a Roundtable webinar as a panelist. Outside of that I work independently doing contract work. But for the most part I am a full time mother, which consume majority of my evenings, weekends and life LOL and working on my non-profit consumes that remainder of my day, the pay is Zero, but the personal rewards I am receiving are far more valuable

Writing, Helping others (through medicine, education, mentorship) Cooking and "hobbies" that keep me motivated and allow me to express my self. Writing- is my outlet, my so called "creative corner" and an area of reflection. Helping others- keeps me at peace, I am not a millionaire or even an expert in every matter under the sun, but I have life experience, words of encourage to offer, and personal faith to offer. Cooking- I am from the south and love good southern meals (well i love food in general :-) and I enjoy cooking for other people, providing them with nourishment, comfort and a good meal too! Now I need to find one that makes me some money!

As you can see the nuts did not want to cooperate, initially. So once the apples has sat for a while I took a spoon and moved the nuts in place and added more nuts to some of the apples. 

This weekend I decided that we would have a day of fun. Saturday consisted of a movie matinee, we saw the "Book of Life" and I actually thoroughly enjoyed it lol and then we went home and made (semi) homemade caramel apples dipped in nuts and made a jack-o-lantern. Check out Pursuits of Happiness for the the caramel apple recipe we used. They were sooo delicious!

I dropped my laptop last summer(July 2013) more than a month before my Aug 2013 MCAT test (the absolute worst feeling ever). To repair the computer would have been just like purchasing a new laptop and I was not financially able to make that move. So I had pretty much been without a computer until this June when I had the pleasure of using a company own laptop for the fellowship position, well I shipped that boy back earlier this month upon completion of my role.  And initially I had planned to wait a while before I purchased a computer but then I thought about all of the things I needed to do that required the internet, word processing etc. While the library was an option I tend to work into the wee hours of the night and computer availability is not guaranteed. I purchased a Desktop computer last week. I chose a Desktop versus a laptop because it is more family friendly, cost efficient  and because I will be in medical school in the coming summer/fall and my school will either provide me with a laptop or I can allocate funds from my loans and purchase one! I learning to speak everything into existence, there is nothing that I want or need that God hasn't already set aside for me. All I have to do is remain faithful and claim what is already mine! Here's a challenge for you- eliminate estimation, guesstimation {yea I know its not a real word but that's why I love creative writing} and if statements from your vocabulary, use AFFIRMATION STATEMENTS instead.

What is your deepest fear?

Part I

Marianne Williamson, said a mouthful right! I will discuss fears and confidence in greater detail in a later post!  

But here's a taste of how I feel, fear plays whatever role we allow them to in our lives. There are things that we can control, work towards, improve on and change and then there are things we have absolutely no control over. And we have to consciously decide if we will work towards happiness, success and accomplishment or Loose sleep, hair, weight and God knows what else, in a world where we are just a small fraction of a larger puzzle, in which many of its pieces we may never see, touch, hear or feel. This is a battle that I face daily and this morning I choose prayer, I have so many things and people to be thankful for and I want to focus on positive energy and real moments. 

Take a Deep Breath

I have been running non-stop for months. From studying 6-7 days a week for the MCAT, primary/secondary applications to working 40+ hours weekly, then play dates, the park, guppy swim lessons, and limited sleep. And I honestly did not know the toil it had taken on my body until today.

I literally completed my Fellowship on Tuesday and was on to another opportunity on Wednesday. Today after spending a day at an OB/GYN Clinic, seeing patients, participating in discussion and listening to presentations, I could barely keep my eyes open as I drove home. Then I was greeted by a very energetic kid and my exhaustion was an after thought and I remembered who I was and what my life consisted of, that yesterday, today and even tomorrow, will probably be considered calm days in the grand scheme of things, compared to what my future will hold. Then I took deep breath in and thought about the budding couple I met expecting their very own Thanksgiving surprise. And, after discussing school lunch, math, reading and my day downtown, my little one reminded me that I always have a "test patient" at home who doesn't mind a cold stethoscope. And then I took a deep breath out.

Have you every looked up and been amazed at how much time has gone by, whether you were consumed in excitement or with the daily going abouts of life?? That's sort of how I feel, it will be 2015 before we know it and I feel like just last week I was waiting for the snow storm to pass. So tonight I plan to indulge in whatever fantasy my mind can concoct and have long sweet dreams. And tomorrow I will get up and do it all again, reminding myself throughout the day to just take a deep breath and take it all in as comes.

To beautiful Beginnings

I am feeling very productive today. My Fellowship ended yesterday and today I am back on my grind, volunteering at my childs' school, shadowing, new job search, finalizing my secondary applications and rejoicing in all that is today, tomorrow and the future! LETS BE GREAT!

UnderGrad Chronicles:The Student Worker

{My typical undergrad school/employment semester schedule. Freshman through Senior YR. Its kind of hard to schedule certain parenting obligations and studying, (which unfortunately was fit in wherever I had a moment to breathe) so they are not listed in the schedule above.}  

Lecture/Study/Life balance is an essential component of maneuvering through college and being academically successful. When you add working part time and/or full time as well as being a parent, the balancing act can feel more like you’re walking a tightrope 20 stories high.  

I chose to work while in college because working was a necessity for me. Coming from a single parent home, my mom and family couldn’t afford to contribute substantially to my siblings needs and towards my education. And, even after multiple sources of funding, there still was an unmet need. Working helped supplement that void. When I became a parent, working was even more essential, it was my year around means of healthcare, adequate means of transportation, and so on. This lead to an imbalance in my work/school life schedule. And, not only did my academic performance suffer tremendously, but so did my personal outlook on my future.

Working as a full student is probably one of my biggest regrets but it’s also one of the most valuable lessons I have learned. I wish it was different but for majority of the time that I worked while in undergrad I had poor time management, stretched myself to thin and neglected my studies, which was ironically my primary reason for working. It goes a lot deeper than a 300 word post but in summary: I am not the first student to have to work while in college and I am sure I won’t be the last.  I learned that this is just another obstacle, I will face in life, a test of my true strength, and an opportunity to exhibit perseverance. I have held several jobs since undergrad and I will continue to work until I enter medical school, because that is my reality (unless I win the lottery ;-) but now I am wiser and I know that I can’t let short term factors take precedent over long term goals.

When I finally decided to quit my long term employment role (of 7+yrs), my former manager said to me, “Don’t be a career student.” Initially I kind of took that as a “Jab” at my professional aspirations with a twist of bitterness because of my departure. Today, I find wisdom in her words because now I see that there is nothing wrong with being a “Career” or better yet a lifelong student. I never want to reach a point in which I am complacent and think that I have all the answers. I want to continue to evolve and grow, this will require an endless array of “Schooling”, which will consist of collegiate training, filled with worldly experiences. 

PsycholOGY vs BiolOGY

In order to practice medicine you have to major in a "hard core" science, such as Biology (preferably), Chemistry, Biochem and ______ (Insert a typical Science course/major). I am not sure if this way of thinking still exist but this is what was drilled into my psyche during high school and as I entered into college.

I personally consider this to be a misguided concept. When I graduated from high school and thought about my future, there was no doubt in mind that I wanted go to college, medical school and become a physician. And, when I thought about spending four years in college, I wanted to maximum both my personal and professional growth. I wanted to spend those years learning something intriguing, something new, something that I could apply in my everyday conversations and observations and I wanted preparation for my intended career field. And to acquire all of my desires I didn’t want to sacrifice one interest or passion for the other.

During 1^st year orientation week , I was provide with words of wisdom from someone that I trusted wholeheartedly and admired dearly, “I think you should major in Biology.” Before starting college I had my mind set on being a Psychology major and not because I thought it was a cool word or I feared the rigor of the traditional “hard core” science. It was because of my personal experiences, my interest in understanding varying personalities, motivations, lifestyles and people and etc. Yet, I was easily convinced after being advised that a major in biology would provide me with the best preparation for medical school. I read around, looked at several stats and Biology was the most prevalent major for medical students, so Biology is what I declared! Looking back I can understand why my “Advisor” made this statement, but that was not the best major for ME, for my interest and my personal goals, so I eventually changed my major to psychology and today I still stand by that decision. Lesson 1) All advice it not necessarily the best advice for you, no matter how educated, experienced, or trust worthy the source is. Listen to the advice, digest it, and reflect on everything of value to you, pray on it and then make an educated decision. You may not always be right in your choices but that’s what life is about learning, growing and being able to share your experiences.

I am not sure how every single college in the world is structured, but at my liberal arts alma mater, most majors also had various “tracks” associated with them. For instance, as a Psychology major interested in medicine, I was provided with a list courses I should take that met both my psy graduation requirements and medical school pre-reqs. If I wanted to major in Psychology and pursue law, there was a track for that; Psychology and pursue research or grad school, there was a track for that. So I knew my options were not limited a traditional science just because that was the standard. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with majoring in Biology, Chemistry or ______ (Insert a typical Science course/major), as long as it is what YOU want to do, and not because of your parents, siblings, advisor, or what societal norms think. Lesson 2) Choose a major that fits who you are. Sometimes we don’t immediately know "who we are" or what we like, so do your research, talk to people, and think about your end goals. Upon reading about the recent changes to the MCAT, it appears others are starting to think outside the box as well, academic training is only a fraction of the journey, healthcare delivery is a puzzle and in order to really reach patients beyond the facade of the credentials that follow your last name, we have to have a body of individuals that understand a lot more than how to order labs, prescribe antibiotics and so on.

If there’s only one road to your destination but you are clearly miles away on uncharted land, then start digging your own path, one that’s right for you.  

Dear Reapplicant :-)

I was no where near prepared to begin an AACOMAS/AMCAS application, let alone be a medical student, when I completed undergrad a few years ago. Due to declaring a new major at the beginning of my sophomore year in college (Biology to Psychology) to ensure that I completed all of my Psychology core requirements for graduation I had to forgo the traditional pre-med route. I had two options: A) complete all of my premed pre-reqs and finish undergrad in 5 years  or B) graduate in 4 years with a Psychology Degree and complete my Physics and Organic Chemistry pre-reqs later. I attended a Private Liberal Arts College and tuition was extremely high so I opted for option B.

If you have ever been to an amusement park than you are more than likely familiar with roller coasters and for me my undergrad experience was analogous to the hilly, looped filled, unpredictable roller coasters at your local amusement park, which would need an entire blog post on its own.

After graduating from college with it a GPA that was anything but stellar, I was still hopeful that medical school was somewhere within my horizon. Unfortunately, I was not able to enroll in school to complete my post bacc program immediately after graduating because of limited availability due to my work schedule and home obligations. But not to despair about 6months after graduating I was enrolled in a non-traditional post bacc program. I was enrolled for a total of 17 consecutive months because I took classes during the summer as well and for the most part my course load consisted of between 6-10 credits per semester. I completed both sets of Organic Chemistry including labs, both set of Physics w/integrated lab components, Biochemistry and a few other non medical school related courses. For me taking a limited amount of classes was the best option because it fit my budget and my times constraints (work and home life). And it proved  beneficial because I was able to perform very well in all of the classes.

Performing well in my "Post Bacc" classes was just the motivation I needed to spark added flame to my medical school dreams. Yet, I wanted to participate in a more rigorous academic program, so I enrolled in a masters program. Fast forward to present day, almost 2 years after completing my M.S program, hundreds of volunteer and shadowing hours, a couple of MCATs and medical applications later, Here I am! Even though my journey has been very rocky and slightly extended, I have learned a lot along the way such as: what study methods work for me, how to overcome test anxiety, I gained a vast amount of medical shadowing experience, learning how to balance school work/parenthood and perform well in class, what factors are important to me in an academic program and I even had the chance to interview with medical schools.

As you can tell by reading thus far, my journey was not swift or effortless. At times I felt like Dorothy, her trek towards Oz was not as carefree as she may have hoped and the yellow brick road had several pot holes and unwanted travelers along the way. But with perseverance and the help of a few supportive mates she made it. I can too and God willing I will!